Alright, let's dive into the real talk – like I said before, on another post, life isn’t always an ocean of roses. It throws us curveballs, and let's be honest, who hasn't had their fair share of rough patches? Statistics say 90% of humans will suffer some kind of trauma throughout their lives—whether it happens during childhood or as an adult. But I think it’s closer to 100%! 

I mean… I am 43 years old, I’ve met a whole lot of people, and never have I met a single person who hasn’t been through some sort of trauma. We live in a broken world, and we are prone to suffer with the others’ behaviors and actions. However, in this world veiled in brokenness, pointing fingers, and laying blame only perpetuates a cycle of hurt.

Let’s go on a quick journey of self-discovery as we explore how we can take responsibility for our own growth while understanding the profound concept that what happened to you is not your fault.

Taking Responsibility Without the Blame Game:
The Journey to Emotional Stability
Breaking Free from the Chains

1. Taking Responsibility Without the Blame Game:


Blame, a deceptive crutch, held me captive for a significant portion of my life. I justified my unhealthy behaviors by assigning responsibility to others for the hurt and trauma I endured. It took a profound revelation to understand that true healing isn't found in blaming but in taking responsibility for our own growth. What I mean by that is… It may not have been my fault, but it’s my choice and my responsibility to grow, heal, and forgive!

There is a popular saying that hurt people hurt people. And that is true, but it is also true that healed people heal people. The power of our testimony, intertwined with the transformative blood of Jesus, creates a ripple effect of healing. Our personal healing becomes a beacon, a testament that prophecies healing for others.

Revelation 12:11 ESV


11 And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death.

2. The Journey to Emotional Stability:

Despite the brokenness we encounter, there is a path to emotional stability and security. As we position ourselves before God and allow His transformative work within, stability becomes our reality. Blaming others for our hurt and trauma shifts the responsibility for our stability onto fallible humans whom we have no control over. It's an unsustainable expectation, as even the most exceptional among us can disappoint sometimes.

As I say in my book “The Pursuit of Freedom”, and I say it often, we have self-control, not others-control, trying to control others by shifting blame and responsibility is exhausting, and counter-productive.

The truth is, God, who never fails, understands our needs, cravings, and the intricacies of our inner wiring. He created us! We all need stability and security. It doesn’t matter what personality type or what temperament, or whether you are an extrovert, introvert, a planner, or a winger.

And how we get the mental and emotional stability that we need is by surrendering it all to God and taking responsibility of what we can control, and that’s our actions, behaviors and responses.

3. Breaking Free from the Chains:


Letting go of blame is a profound act of freedom. It's a recognition that our growth and emotional well-being are within our grasp, irrespective of the external circumstances that have shaped our journey. By relinquishing the chains of blame, we reclaim our power to chart a course toward healing and stability.

In Closing...

In a world shadowed by trauma, taking responsibility for our growth and emotions becomes a transformative journey. We cannot do it alone. We need God, and many times, other people that can help us as well, which God will point them out to us. It's an acknowledgment that what happened to us is not our fault, but our response to it is our responsibility. As we embrace this truth, we unlock the potential for profound healing and stability. The power to break free from the chains of blame lies within us, leading us towards a future where our scars become stories of resilience, and our journey becomes a testament to the enduring strength of our spirit in union with The Holy Spirit.

Activation Time...

This week's activation is simple, but it may not be super easy. Take some time with The Holy Spirit and ask Him: Is there anyone I need to forgive for instilling a wrong belief system in me? 

Keep in mind that often, it is done unconsciously. The person may be the one who loves you the most, and had no ill intention at all. Nonetheless, there were wrong beliefs and it needs to be changed for the Truth.

Write down the insights you have have from Holy Spirit, and ask: What do i need to do now? 

This could be simply forgive, it could be to call the person and have a conversation, whatever it may be, follow His lead!!


Tassyane Assis
Tassyane Assis

I hope you enjoyed this post. I share new Table Talks frequently on the blog that is specifically designed to help you GROW! Grow yourself and your relationship with God by seeking HIm for further answers and understanding. Please share any contents that you would like me to create for you.

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